“Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don’t you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can’t think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you’re supposed to read? Do you think every thing you’re supposed to think? Buy what you’re told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned.”
― Jack, Fight Club
On a long enough time line,
the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
People my age drop dead all the time… Heart attacks, DVTs, Stroke not to mention the random traffic collision or bathtub mishap. So if you realize this… I mean REALIZE this fact… How do you spend your last days on earth?
Think about it, what you have left ARE YOUR LAST DAYS.
Setting things right.
Early in my sobriety, perhaps a year and change in I came to a crux... The solution I found was TO SERVE THE TRUTH it was a very rudimentary concept for me at the time and what it boiled down to was brutal honesty coupled with a One Point Scale for decision making… If I couldn’t publish my actions in the news paper and be okay with it I needed a plan B that was fit for print.
I decided to tell the truth even if it ruined my life and well… It did… I pulled some nasty shit when I was loaded and that didn’t stop right away after I became chemical free. It was worth it though because that life was $h1t and not worth living.
It took a long time to wear the rough edges off of my concept and I sure as hell pissed a lot of people off for a long time… I mean I was a bastard… A very honest bastard, but a bastard none the less.
Graduation to RFI
Many years have gone by and life has gone on… Being honest, telling the truth has served me well but there is a catch. Somehow I became soft and in this I cut people a lot of slack, payed out a lot of rope to those who in reality needed a stomping on right away. I practiced patience and attempted to be understanding and helpful.
When the crazy talk (Insane Lies) started a few years ago I tried to “be there” for someone I loved… I didn’t like them much but I loved them because I viewed this person as one I had fixed bayonets with and “gone over the top” and by some miracle survived. The Bad craziness were the battle scars and I had some too so I could empathize… Unfortunately that was all BULLSHIT.
Much of that trench warfare was based in bullshit that my “comrade in arms” had manufactured.
An RFI is one grade above total A$$ Hole… RFI stand for Righteously Fvcked Individual. The type that has ice water for blood and is perfectly willing to take a beating for whatever you got to bring on.
I’m just not afraid… I’m not afraid of anything now because my kids are safe.
I was happy and healthy for a long time life moved on I had done what I could for this person and done it with as much grace as anyone could pull off under the circumstances. I felt I had saved their life.
Now for whatever reason they are willing to spew the most vile lies in order to take my life. At first I did not believe it, and then I could not understand… But what would it matter anyway? All there is to be said is:
FUCK YOU… I’M GOING TO SHOVE THE TRUTH RIGHT UP YOUR ASS.
Well played, if only you had more than my own stupid blind trust and heartfelt sympathy for what seemed to me living with a tortured mind… Great Legend, Short on fact (truth) though.
4 May 2013 – I am an atypical anti-psychotic… Taken only when it’s too late to matter or do any good.