What is it like being a father?… 100%, absolute terror 24 hours a day 7 days a week… Raising children is like being slowly tortured to death…
Teenagers Are Messed Up
Well… At least mine are, and I’m going to attempt to state my case here without writing a 10 page rant, so, if this publication seems a little vague and confusing it has just as much to do with my trying to save you from a vicious onslaught as it does my poor writing skilz.
Coconut Head #1 is very intelligent and quite talented, however, she just can’t seem to grasp the concept of C… A+B= C every time all the time, without variation, regardless of what kind of spin is put on the cause of A or B, C is inevitable… And asking why is pointless because C doesn’t need a reason… C just is.
( I understand that you weren’t expecting any algebra but take heart in the fact that there will not be a pop quiz handed out on this).
C stands consequences, there are many variables of C but they are all C none the less.
As a parent I watch for A & B and when detected I impose a form of C… A synthetic form of C called Aversion Therapy. I do this in order to prevent re occurrences of A&B. I do this in place of the natural version of C because C in it’s raw natural state is sometimes lethal.
Are you following me so far?
This action of substituting synthetic C for the real life natural C is a fairly easy thing to do with small children…
Coconut #3 for example accepts the explanation “Because Daddy loves you and doesn’t want you to get hurt and A&B could hurt you real bad if you keep doing it” as a reasonable thing.
The trouble comes when a Coconut Head has had doses of synthetic C for a while and starts to think that the Natural and possibly lethal C was just something Daddy made up to torture and control coconut heads.
It’s at this point when Coconuts do A+B at every opportunity in order to prove that Natural C does not exist in the world there by proving Daddy is a psychotic idiot who runs a gulag for torturing coconuts just because he thinks it’s funny.
This can and often does escalate to a point where synthetic C just keep causing more A&B and what you end up with is Coconuts Gone Wild and even a little bloodshed to boot.
Here is where it gets tricky and scary as hell so pay attention.
Proving the existence of natural C to unbelieving Coconut Heads by allowing it in small and hopefully non lethal doses is a hard but necessary thing to do.
This is done by allowing some A&Bs to slide by by keeping your mouth shut… I know… Sometimes the hardest thing to do is… Nothing… Then wait for the A+ B to add up to C.
Now here is the twist:
You don’t add any synthetic C to the natural C that A&B led up to… You simply advise them without accusation and let them deal with C on their own.
If all goes well and the small doses of Natural C don’t kill them they will eventually come to believe in the existence of possibly lethal C and understand the equation of A+B=C.
This is the point you can kick them out of the gulag, sit back for once in the better part of two decades and enjoy a freakin’ cup of coffee without Coconut Heads Gone Wild at full blast making you tear your hair out.
… At least I hope that’s how it works.