The Prius Grand Prix… how badly they wanted to charge ahead of the old BMW’s graying chassis… But just they just couldn’t manage anything more than a whimper in the face of the S20/M42’s Baritone roar and puff of blacker than sin raw fuel smoke I left them in as I drove deep into LA to rescue a Coconut.
The LA Toyota Prius Grand Prix
The most amazing thing you will ever see is the Los Angeles freeway system… There really isn’t anything in the world like it, bumper to bumper at either nothing to ninety MPH and it would seem nobody actually knows where they are going… At any rate in the past decade or so I have observed a new phenomena and it is this: Prius Drivers are Dangerous Idiots.
You see the Toyota Prius is a Hybrid that has this tiny little engine that can just barely scoot the ugly little sled down the road however that tiny little engine it there to charge up the batteries for an electrical motor that is capable of launching these little phuckers off pretty damn quick but only in short spurts… Kind of like those windup happy meal toys Corporate Deathburger foists off on your kids.
So what happens is this: Prius charges ahead like a rocket and snaps up the lane in front of you… The electrics unwind and all that’s left is the COX .049 and now you’re on the brakes trying not to run the bastard over that now, can’t even get out of their own way.
Well… So much for the LA Freeways they aren’t getting any better with technology.
5150 or Why Am I Driving to LA?
” 5150 (Involuntary psychiatric hold) Section 5150 is a section of the California Welfare and Institutions Code (specifically, the Lanterman–Petris–Short Act or “LPS”) which allows a qualified officer or clinician to involuntarily confine a person deemed to have a mental disorder that makes them a danger to him or her self, and/or others and/or gravely disabled. A qualified officer, which includes any California peace officer or paramedic, as well as any specifically designated county clinician, can request the confinement after signing a written declaration. When used as a term, 5150 (pronounced “fifty-one-fifty”) can informally refer to the person being confined or to the declaration itself, or colloquially as a verb, as in ‘Someone was 5150’d’ “
And thus began the Kidnapping of Coconut Head #1.
Pretty strange event even for me, Coconut head #1 was late coming home from school so I called her and she told me “The Crisis Team” was there to talk to her and said not to worry they would get her home shortly.
The panicked Communique:
Problems… Everyone has got them and if I could teach my problems to sing they’d make the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sound like a kazoo.If I don’t get this out I’m sure to go “Blitzkrieg / Scorched Earth” on the the entire City, County and State that I call home: The Mother****ing Demokratik Republik of Kalifornia… You see… My 14 year old daughter has been abducted… From school… By a Private “Family Service” Mental health organization under contract with The County of Ventura…Okay… I gotta breath because I’m turning bluish.She was declared by an aging with a lot of cleavage showing and a bit too much bling blond pH D of Psychology(that probably studied due to the fact that she had daddy issues or a scary lesbian encounter or similar thing)to be a danger to herself and whisked away by ambulance to a mental institution in Chino, Kaliforna… The clued me in after the fact.I’m absolutely PANIC LIVID INSANE at the moment and can’t figure out if I should call the Kalifonia Gestapo and report her kidnapped…Or call in an Air Strike from the Ultra Right Wing Libertarians…
Oh well… Life is difficult.
All is well that ends well. I did retrieve the Coconut Head and she hasn’t been to the nuthouse since.